SOW YOUR DESTINY

Seasons of Change

We see the process of change all around us being mirrored in the seasons throughout the year.  Springtime heralds the onset of rebirth and new beginnings.  The daffodils, tulips, and crocuses pop open in a burst of fresh color to dot the landscape.  The dogwood and cherry trees adorn themselves as if preparing for a wedding ceremony in delicate pink and white blossoms while April showers pour out kisses of dewdrops upon every tender petal. A sweet scent fills the air and our spirits are given a measure of hope as we see this new life emerge in stark contrast to the bitter cold and darkness of winter.

Following this fresh burst of growth, summer arrives on cue to represent the fullness of life; the crowning glory of the year in all its plenty.  Life is caught up in the momentum of production and energy, bursting towards full maturity.  Then a subtle change begins to occur as we see this explosion of life begin to wane.  It has expended all of its energy and longs to settle into a time of rest and renewal in order to burgeon with new life in due season once again.

As the exuberance of summer draws to a close, the calming presence of autumn begins to settle in.  It is beautiful to behold as we see the splendor of color painting the landscape; a living canvas of beauty reflecting the artistic hand of its Creator. As if by magic, we watch as the leaves on the trees change into a kaleidoscope of color before our very eyes; one last glorious display to bid the world farewell. They have served their purpose well and know that it is time to let go. One by one, we watch as a gentle wind comes along like the breath of God to detach it effortlessly from the limb of its temporary home.  Guided along in invisible arms, it is gently laid to rest upon the ground, and in return, the earth receives it with a kiss of greeting and a welcome home.

To the casual observer, what remains is a barren tree, stripped of its clothing and beauty, naked to the world and exposed to the harsh elements of the environment. Life appears to be swallowed up in death.  Winter has arrived and a period of darkness descends and looms over all as the bitter sting of cold sets in.  Yet we know that this is not the end.  It is not a permanent state but a temporary dormancy period where many things are happening, although unseen to the naked eye.  This is simply just another part of the process; a necessary phase of change.  And like the year before, new hope will be rekindled and spring will usher in a time of new birth, growth, and new beginnings for us once again.

How magnificent and fragile this life is!

And so it is with each one of our lives.  Like spring, our birth propels us dramatically onto the scene and we awaken and draw in our first breath of life in an unknown world. We arrive naked, helpless, and dependent upon those who have entered before us to act as our guides and teachers for a time until we are ready to explore it on our own. We learn to live and walk among one another.  We partake of the same breath of life and dwell under the same sky.  We are warmed by the heat of the same sun and share in the miraculous cycle of life in a continuous movement towards the inevitable death of our bodies, and emerge again as if born into something new, yet still part of what continues to exist.  The essence of our life and existence is left behind as a memory and a legacy to those who remain and who have yet to make the same journey.

Let the seasons in life help you accept the process of change as a natural part of the journey.  Whether you find yourselves in the springtime of new hope and beginnings, or still traveling through the darkness of winter, hold on to the here and now.  Embrace the season knowing that change is inevitable and we can either flow with it or resist it, but it continues on with or without us taking a proactive part in it.  Yet, be patient and loving to yourself when in the midst of the winter.  Springtime will come again when we are ready. 

Pressing On When the Light Grows Dim

There are times when we may have hoped for something for so long but it is so long in coming that our strength begins to wane.  We may grow discouraged and feel like giving up, believing that our efforts and faith have been in vain. The light we thought we saw at the end of the tunnel seems to never draw any closer though we strive to reach it with everything we have.  The road we are traveling seems long and we grow weary to the point of wanting to throw our hands up in the air and give up.

I have found myself in such a place more than once in my life and as I wandered in the dark, sometimes going in circles, I found that what I really needed to do was STOP.  

"The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again while expecting different results."  ~Albert Einstein

Stop just long enough to assess my situation. Evaluate my current methods and determine whether or not I was achieving the results I wanted.  Look at things from as many different perspectives as possible and then create a new plan. 

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

1.  Is it time to take a step back and re-evaluate your goals and over-all plan? 

2.  Could it be that it is simply not the right time?  Consider the possibility that there are other important factors that have not yet fallen into place.

3.  Could it be that what you are aiming for is completely within your grasp but can only be obtained by trying something completely different?  A change in direction?  A change in method or tactic? 

4.  Is it possible that you could be doing something that is holding yourself back from getting what you want?

5.  Are your motives pure?  Does what you want benefit only yourself or does it benefit many?  A selfish motive could be the greatest obstacle to getting what you want.

6.  Have you built a support network of people who are adding their faith to yours and encouraging you? 

7.  Do you still desire what you thought you wanted? Or having you been working towards the same goal for so long that it is simply a matter of habit but not necessarily something you really want or need anymore?

Finding Hope Even from a Cell Phone

I'm sure that most people have all had one of those days where nothing seems to be going right.  Most everything seems to be going wrong and it feels as if the weight of the ENTIRE world is pressing down on you.  You can't take anymore.  Not one more little thing to rock the fragile boat that happens to be.... YOUR LIFE...let alone having to watch your cell phone drown in a cup of brewed java right before your very eyes...

So what does my cell phone and a cup of coffee have to do with hope?  Today...everything!

You see...if my cell phone happened to be human, you'd all be reading about this in the papers today.  You would read how my poor little cell phone clung for dear life to the edge of a shelf on my computer desk and then plunged helplessly to it's death into a steaming cup of hot coffee just a few inches below.  It's poor little cell battery life extinguished in a single instant, and there was nothing I could do but watch it happen.  And it was my own fault.  Could this be considered reckless endangerment?  Cell phone-slaughter? (I shudder...)

I had just finished making a call, and carelessly placed the phone on a shelf on my desk top and as soon as I pulled my hand away, it slid off the edge and plopped right into my cup of coffee that was sitting directly below. The first thought that entered my mind at the speed of light was something akin to Tony the Tiger,   'GrrrrrREAT! Just one more thing in my life I need to fix today!'

I frantically fished my phone out of the coffee and attempted to turn it on, but nothing happened.  I already knew that it wouldn't, but hey....I had a fleeting glimmer of hope! So there I sat with my dead cell phone in hand, grabbed my latest phone bill, and proceeded to call Sprint.  Of course, I had to wade through a multitude of recorded prompts, only to find myself waiting on hold for customer service.  Estimated time of wait?  The recorded voice said approximately 10 or 15 minutes. 

Once again...the story of my life.  One big hurry up and wait endlessly for something really good to happen...

Yes, I was deeply entrenched in the depths of what I like to call 'stinking thinking' and all ready to host my very own Pity Party in the house of my mind when...what's this?  A real live human voice spoke on the other end of the line and asked how they could be of help.  Yay! And isn't that what most of us want when something happens?  We want someone to listen and respond to us when we reach out for help...We want someone to care enough to say, 'How can I help you?'

Relieved to finally be communicating with a real person, I recounted the sad story of how my cell phone met it's tragic end, and she told me that it was my lucky day.  As of TODAY, I was eligible for a $150 rebate on a new cell phone.  Perfect! All's I needed to do now was run over to my nearest Sprint store, pick out a new phone, and sign my life away again for another two years.  No thinking on that required since I had only been living without a cell phone for about 20 minutes now and I was already suffering from withdrawals! 

For those of you who have ever had something tragic happen to your cell phones...you all know the feeling I'm talking about...

• That feeling that you have just realized for the first time that you are naked...that something very important is missing in your life...that you are somehow 'incomplete'....

• That overwhelming sense of anxiety that says that someone could be trying to reach you at this very moment and you are unable to take the call because your phone drowned in a cup of coffee....

• Or maybe not!  Maybe for the first time in a very long time, you finally feel released from prison and now find yourself mimicking William Wallace who with his last breath cried out, "FREEDOM!" 

So, as I was getting ready to head off to the store for my new phone, I began to think how great it would be if getting a new life was just as easy as getting a new phone was.  I briefly imagined myself calling 'God' and saying, "Hi God.  You know that I haven't had the greatest luck for awhile.  You know my history.  You know all that's happened.  You wouldn't happen to have a rebate on a brand new life now, would ya?" 

'Well let me see here...Can you give me the last 4 digits of your social security number and I'll look up your file. Hmmm...from what I can see, it looks like it's your lucky day there, young lady.  As of this moment, you happen to be eligible for an entirely brand new life!"

Woo hoo!  Wouldn't that be great!?  I had a nice little chuckle over that imaginary scenario and then it it prompted me to think about a few important and helpful things. I began to relate what happened with my cell phone to real life.  MY life.  Here's a few thoughts I want to share in the hope that someone else my find it helpful during a difficult time.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

1. Good things CAN result from a negative event or circumstance. The death of my cell phone was a negative event.  End result?  A $150 rebate and a brand new phone.  Although real life isn't all that simple, it gives me hope.  Bad things have happened in my life, but there have been some good things that have developed from it as well.  I will use the memories of those good things and cling to them during the moments when things seem to be going all wrong. 

2. It's 'ok' to admit to ourselves and another safe person exactly how we feel, what we want, and what we need.  In the case of my phone, I knew exactly who to call for help.  I was able to tell them my problem and they provided me with an acceptable solution.  However, in real life, sometimes there is no other person that can give us the answers we are looking for, but I realized that most of us still would like there to be someone we can call out to when things go wrong.  They may not be able to fix anything for us.  We may not even NEED their advice at all.  But maybe all that we need is for them to listen to us and be with us in our moment of need. Which leads me to this next point....

3.  Know when to reach out for help and know who to call.  I believe that it is important for everyone to have at least a few positive, uplifting people in their lives.  Surrounding ourselves with too much negativity can keep us stuck.  Negativity can also be contagious.  So it's important to build a good network of positive and encouraging people in your life that will not serve to bring you down, but will help encourage you and lift you up.  But it is also just as important to recognize the limits of other people.  Sometimes it is necessary to call on the help of a doctor or a counselor who may be more equipped to help you through the rough spots along the way. NOTE: If you are feeling suicidal or unable to deal with life events on your own, never be afraid to reach out for help. 

4. It may be raining today, but it will not rain forever.  I happen to live in the pacific northwest where we wake up each day and ask ourselves, 'Uh yeah...can I have a little bit o' sunshine to go with all this RAIN we've been having for months now!?'  And the good news that I can tell myself is this...I've been living in this region since 1985 and the rain WILL eventually stop and the sun will shine again. It happens every year.  The raindrops will stop falling on my head, and the sun will shine on me once again.....

And although I only left the Sprint store with a brand new cell phone rather then a brand new life, I could still see the sun trying to pierce through the thick layer of clouds in the sky.  There may be rain today, but there very well could be a day full of sun tomorrow!

*Originally posted in 2006. 

Success is a Constant Journey

For many people, setting a goal can be fraught with a great deal of fear because it involves the risk of failure.  Yet if we are not willing to take the risks to try, we wind up doing nothing at all and our goals remain unrealized. 

Sometimes people will manage to achieve their goals or reach success only to crash and burn later.  This may happen because we quit doing all of those little things that helped bring us success in the first place.  We may get distracted in things that don't really matter.  Or we may feel that we've finally 'arrived' and make the mistake of believing that no more effort is needed to maintain success. 

For anyone who has tried and failed it may be a refreshing message to know that success is not a one time event but a constant journey.  Here is a small dose of inspiration and hope from Richard St. John as seen on Ted Talks.

Food for Thought:

1.  What fears are you currently facing in your own life when it comes to a personal or professional success?

2.  In Richards video, he outlines his keys to success:

•Passion •Work •Focus •Push •Ideas •Improve •Serve •Persist

If you've experienced failure in the past, what keys were missing and how can you use this information to re-evaluate your goals and plans for success? 

3.  Are you currently passionate about what you do?  If not, why?

4.  How can you eliminate unnecessary distractions that may be pulling you away from focusing on what is most important?

5.  Examine your motives, product, or service.  Do they truly serve others and benefit the majority?  If not, what changes can you make?

6.  And always remember...you know the saying...'If at first you don't succeed, try try again!' Bonus points for anyone who can remind me who said that. ;-)

Wishing all of you the greatest success on YOUR journey.

Samantha S Hall

Sow Your Destiny

Shifting Perspectives

When considering the matter of perspectives in our ideas, beliefs, and relationships it's important to understand that it is merely a snapshot taken from one or more angles that capture pieces of a whole. 

Is one perspective truly capable of giving us a complete and accurate picture?  Let's find out....

To demonstrate how important it is to be open to as many perspectives as possible, we should probably start with something simple but we will have to enlist our imaginations a little bit to help us along the way.

Pretend that you have never seen a car before.  You have no idea what it is at all, nor do you understand it's purpose or function.  You've been sent on a mission from headquarters to describe exactly what you see to them.  Others have been sent with you to provide their descriptions as well. 

Now imagine that you are rooted to a certain spot a fair distance away from this car and it is impossible for you to move to a different position.  Let's say that you are facing the front of the car.  Another person is facing the side of the car.  Another is facing the back end of the car.  There is also another person flying above and has a visual of the top of the car.  One more person is viewing the car from underneath. 

You begin to report back to headquarters with your observations of the front end of the car.  You describe the color, height, and width of the object.  You note the window where you can see part of the interior.  You see two shiny rectangles on each side that give the appearance of 'eyes.  This goes on until you have described in detail everything that you've seen.  The rest of your team does the same.  Yet what they are reporting seems to be in conflict with your own description!  One person has the audacity to say that the object is actually several feet longer then what you described.  How can this be?  They don't even mention the two shiny rectangles and are reporting something about two circular black and silver objects instead!  

The guy reporting from underneath the car seems to be completely off base altogether and bears NO resemblance to anyone else's description. 

With conviction you might say in defense, "I KNOW what I saw!  I took accurate measurements.  I"m an EXPERT in detail and can say that I described exactly what I saw and experienced with full confidence." 

The others say basically the same thing with the same amount of conviction. 

So who is right?  Who is wrong?  In this example, they were all 'right' and no one was 'wrong', yet not one person has the WHOLE picture and still does not understand what it is, let alone it's purpose or function.  Having only the one perspective has limited their ability to adequately understand the object at all. 

Now just for fun, let's take this one step further.  Imagine you are an ant walking along the small gap that exists between the cars tire and the pavement.  If the ant were to stop and face the tire, what would it see?  A giant wall and sky of BLACK.  If that ant were to report back to headquarters with this description, would the ant be wrong?  No.  But due to it's size and close proximity to the object, it does not have a large enough view and perspective to adequately describe what it is seeing.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that it's safe to say that it would be next to impossible for anyone to deduce that the object in question is a tire attached to a car. 

Hopefully you can see from this simple analogy how easy it is to be locked into a certain perspective or idea and confuse it as being all there is.  This is easier to see when describing tangible objects but the same principles on perspective can be applied to intangible things as well such as our ideas, problems,  beliefs, and even relationships. 

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Our conscious and unconscious beliefs shape the decisions we make in life. 

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Remember, at one time in our history, the majority of civilization believed the world to be FLAT.  We may laugh at this today and find it preposterous but I would bet that if we lived during that time, we would have believed the same thing.  We wouldn't have known any different because no one had sailed the ocean far enough to report back anything different.  So people would view the horizon and formed a belief that anyone who sailed out that far would eventually just 'fall off'. 

Yes, we may laugh at this now but it was a universal BELIEF back then and people made certain decisions based on a belief that wound up being FALSE. 

This shows that we can be full of conviction in forming our beliefs yet be completely off base because we do not have enough information about something.  So how do we deal with this if there is no way of knowing whether or not we have all the information?  I believe this is where we allow ourselves to still form our convictions and beliefs yet remain 'open' to new perspectives instead of fearing them, realizing that we may not have enough information at this time.  More information may be discovered that could provide a far more accurate picture that may completely change some of our beliefs we currently hold. 

My goal in writing about this is to help diffuse some of the fear that we may encounter with the 'unknown' and allow ourselves to be open to changing perspectives.  The benefits for doing so can be found in nearly every area of our lives.  It can help us solve a problem at work or at home.  It can help us in offering more acceptance to the ideas and opinions of others because we understand they are merely giving their perspective and it simply may be different then our own. Being willing to see things from someone else's  perspective might just provide a more accurate picture then either of you had before.  Both people walk away with a larger piece of the big picture and greater understanding.

It can be life changing!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

1.  What came up for you as you read?

2.  How can you use this information to help you solve a problem and find solutions at school or at work?

3.  How can this information help you create more harmony in a challenging relationship?

Mastering the Art of Timing

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am an avid collector of quotes.  Whenever I stumble upon one that resonates or challenges me in some way, I add it to my Quote book that I keep near my computer at all times.  Today I came across one that spoke to me on multiple levels.  Not only could I recognize what I most need from others at times, but I could also see that I have not been very good about granting it in return. 

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'Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.' ~Octavia Butler

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Mastering the art of timing....

After reading this,  I recalled occasions in the past where I was faced with the unsolicited advice of others and their need to 'fix' what was wrong.  I felt trapped by what they were expecting of me when I did not yet feel strong enough or at the right place to proceed or simply didn't feel it was the best solution for me or my circumstances.    What I needed most was their presence accompanied by their 'silence' in the form of a listening and caring ear.  A  person that was more concerned about what I was thinking and feeling as opposed to trying to 'fix' something in my life that seemed in obvious need of repair by the other meant far more to me than any words of advice they could give at the time. 

This was especially true following the death of my husband.  There are simply some things in life that cannot be 'fixed' by words alone or according to the timing and agenda of others.  Sometimes there is the need to sit with the feelings that arise and having someone there willing enough to be a vessel to receive can be all that is needed to feel accepted, loved, understood...heard.  Fortunately, I had a good friend that knew how to do this well and she was a breath of fresh air during a time when I was facing so much loss and change in my life.

Yet, there is another facet to all of this.  It is easy to recognize where we perceive others to have failed in giving us what we need.  Although I may be aware of what I need from others and what works best for me, I still have yet to learn what works best for others.  This quote today made me realize that I don't always respect the timing of others.  I'm not always sensitive to the needs of others or patient enough to find out what those needs are.  Sometimes I have a tendency to offer words in my attempts to fix the relationship instead of being sensitive to the timing and need for silence or even space of the other.  My need to be understood and heard can sometimes overshadow my ability to recognize another persons own need in the moment. 

Achieving more balance in this area will vary from person to person, but can be learned if we focus on improving our communication skills, developing more patience with others and ourselves in communicating our needs, and increasing our sensitivity and discernment by listening and reading body language.  Sometimes people are afraid to say what they really feel, think, or need because of past experiences with others or in the current relationship.  Trust takes time to grow and establish.  It is a fragile thing that can be easily lost and take even longer to repair once broken.  Sometimes people are afraid to show who they really are because when they tried to in the past, they were shamed.  So they go back into hiding but add another layer to their protective shell in order to not be hurt again. 

It takes a whole lotta love and patience to tend to the needs we may find in our world.  As others have shown me by example how to do this when I have been in need, I hope to be able to learn how to effectively extend it to others. 

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

1.  What came up for you upon reading today's quote? 

2.  What did your memories reveal to you about your own needs when you are going through a difficult time or hurting?

3.  In what ways do you feel you could improve when communicating with others in their time of need?   

4.  Is there anything or anyone you need to let go of at this time?  Would it be more helpful to the other if you step back and grant them space for awhile? 

About Sow Your Destiny

The idea for this website came to me following the death of my husband in February of 2005.  I was faced with so many new changes all at once as a single parent of our two daughters and these new challenges sparked the idea for this website and the concept behind Sow Your Destiny.